I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
