A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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