He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Blood and glitter go together right?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
