At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
