U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize