so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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