I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
