another moral hangover. fuck.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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