Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
