So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
