There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
