Michael Bay diarrhea
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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