Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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