i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
