look no pants
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
