Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
