I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
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