Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
