I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Randomize
