She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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