I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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