You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
