Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize