she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
