At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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