I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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