doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
