What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
