Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
