I faked an abortion last night.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
