She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so let's talk penis.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
