So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
