I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Randomize
