If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
