Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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