I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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