Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
