He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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