Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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