I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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