that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
That reminds me...we need to get swords
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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