So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
please come you make the beer taste better
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
