we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
