So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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