hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
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