Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
