I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Your cock deserves a montage
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
