he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
