My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
