Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
