who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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