just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dick very happy bro
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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