Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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