Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize