Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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