Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
