Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
