Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
