Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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