id be glad to
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
