i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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