Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
