i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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