and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
cat food counts as protein by the way
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
