i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
